Girls are like phones. We like to be held and talked too, but if you press the wrong button you will be disconnected!
I asked him, Do you know any of those martial arts things, like Kung-Fu, Karate or Ju-Jitsu? He says No, why the fuck you ask me that? Is it because I Chinese? No, I said, It's because you are drinking my beer, you little prick! |
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2014-11-15 16:57:06 Admin funny0 Com. |
The boss asked him: - So, what makes you suitable for this job? - Well, he replied, I hacked into your computer and invited myself to this interview. |
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2014-11-15 16:32:00 Admin Different0 Com. |
This continues because the teacher knows that Little Johnny knows a cuss word for every letter of the alphabet. Then she gets to "R." She can't think of any cuss words that begin with R, so she calls on Johnny. He exclaims, "R is for rats -- big f**king rats, with 12-inch c**ks!" |
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2013-11-26 12:01:57 demo Kids0 Com. |
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2013-11-26 11:54:25 demo Girls0 Com. |
- "I think my dog is dead." The doctor laid the dog on the table and reached down and took a cat out of a box. The cat walked all over the dog and the dog didn't move. - "Yes, your dog is dead," says the doctor. - "How much do I owe you?" the lady asks. - "$345," says the doctor. - "$345!!?" the lady asks. - "Yes. $45 for the office visit and $300 for the cat scan." |
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2013-11-07 14:53:17 demo Doctors0 Com. |
You don't lend the Porsche out to your friend. |
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2013-10-31 10:44:51 Admin Girls0 Com. |
A: You look boo-tiful! |
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2013-10-31 10:41:50 Admin Halloween0 Com. |
"Who are you?" he asked. "I'm the Devil," she responded. "Well, come on home with me," he said, "I married your sister." |
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2013-10-31 10:38:14 demo Halloween0 Com. |
-Abu Dalah Sarafi. - Sex? - Four times a week. - No, no, no? male or female? - Male, female? sometimes camel? |
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2013-01-07 21:48:54 demo funny0 Com. |
Woman 1: I had sex last night, did you? Woman 2: Yes. Woman 1: Was it good? Woman 2: No, it was a disaster… my husband came home, ate his dinner in three minutes, got on top of me, finished having sex in five minutes, rolled over and fell asleep in two minutes. How was yours? Woman 1: Oh it was amazing! My husband came home and took me out to a romantic dinner. After dinner we walked for an hour. When we came home he lit the candles around the house and we had an hour of foreplay. We then had an hour long session of fantastic sex and afterwards talked for an hour. It was like a fairy tale! At the same time, their husbands are talking at work. Husband 1: You went home to have sex last night, did you score? Husband 2: Yes it was great. I came home, dinner was on the table, I ate, had sex with my wife and fell asleep. Perfect! How did you go? Husband 1: It was horrible. I came home, there’s no dinner because the electricity was cut, I hadn’t paid the bill. Had to take my wife out to dinner which was so expensive that I didn’t have money for a cab. We walked home which took an hour – and when we get home I remember there is no electricity so I had to light candles all over the house! I was so angry that I couldn’t get it up for an hour and then I couldn’t climax for another hour. After I finally did, I was so ticked off that I couldn’t fall asleep and my wife was jabbering away for another hour! |
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2011-01-16 15:33:31 demo funny0 Com. |
Tech Support: "How many windows do you have opened?" User: "I'm in the basement, there aren't any windows" |
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2011-01-13 21:46:31 HristinutA funny0 Com. |
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2011-01-13 21:45:48 HristinutA Drunkards0 Com. |
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2011-01-13 21:44:50 HristinutA Couples0 Com. |
two-line romantic poem...except that the last line had to be as un-romantic as the first line was romantic. 1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife; Marrying you screwed up my life. 2. I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming. 3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot; This describes everything you are not. 4. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss, But I only slept with you because I was pissed. 5. I thought that I could love no other that is, until I met your brother. 6. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head. 7. I want to feel your sweet embrace But don't take that paper bag off your face. 8. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes Damn, I'm good at telling lies! 9. My love, you take my breath away. What have you stepped in to smell this way? 10. My feelings for you no words can tell, Except for maybe "Go to hell." 11. What inspired this amorous rhyme? Two parts vodka, one part lime. |
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2011-01-13 21:43:46 HristinutA Couples0 Com. |
At least my weakness isn't a rock! Sincerely, Batman! |
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2011-01-13 21:39:28 HristinutA funny0 Com. |